What Would Jesus Twitter?

Scott Thomas over at Acts 29 posted a list of Twitter "status updates" with a biblical twist. I don't twitter, but apparently alot of people do. I just thought it was a great little post; it made me laugh, and that's a good thing. So I figured I would post it here as well. So here goes:

Adam is lonely, really lonely, naming animals...starting with A - Aardvark
Adam is having surgery today - taking out a rib
Adam is the husband of the most beautiful woman in the world. Okay, she's the only one, but she isn't wearing any clothes
Eve is looking at pretty apples and talking to a snake. He's a sly little creature.
Adam is leaving the garden and shopping for "the perfect leaf" with Eve
Cain is hating his brother
Isaac is walking up the mountain with Dad to sacrifice
Abraham has a knife in hand but sees a ram caught in the bushes. Man that was close!
Noah is building a huge boat - really huge boat and the neighbors are complaining and laughing
Noah is really hating elephant dung and those two chimps are trying my patience
Joseph is in a hole and lost his favorite coat. This isn't funny anymore? Brothers?
Moses is walking through the Red Sea...no, really.
Samson is growing his hair out again
Ruth is sleeping at the foot of Boaz. He doesn't know I'm here.
Balaam is listening to his donkey talking to him
David is really glad the pretty girl moved in next door. Staying home from work today.
David is sick about his sin-confessed all, wrote a song
Solomon is writing Songs that all the boys want to read
Enoch is outta here
Job is sick of his friend's advise
Daniel is petting the lions
Nehemiah is building a big wall...be done in about 7 weeks.
John the Baptist is eating locusts and wild honey and looking for the One whose shoes I am not worthy to tie
Peter is walking on water-oops, not anymore
Zacchaeus is in a tree looking for Jesus
Judas is counting money
Jesus is sweating drops of blood in the Garden
Peter is hating that the rooster crows
Jesus is forgiving those who put Him on this cross
God is turning His back on His Son with the sin of the world upon him
Jesus is thirsty
Mary is wailing in agony
God is satisfied
Jesus is back!
Thomas is doubting it ever happened
Jesus is praying and sitting at the right hand of His Father
Holy Spirit is regenerating sinners
Jesus is redeeming the lost
God is glorified and is seeking worshippers

Well hopefully you got a laugh and a little Gospel Truth in there as well! Well done Scott!

Love in the Truth