I had this posted on an old blog that has mysteriously disappeared - I am still confused about that one! But starting over is not a bad thing sometimes - especially in this case.
I have been doing alot of study recently on humility, mainly because I see in myself so much pride it is frightening. There is this insatiable desire to be right, to sound profound, to change lives, to be noticed, to receive glory that burns within me. Even in writing this note, I feel it. It feels so good; I don't want it to, but it does. I hate it - if I'm completely honest, I don't. But, I honestly want to hate it. "Help me Lord; Humble me Lord, please."
Enter, God's Word: James 1:21,22 - Therefore, get rid of all moral filth and the evil that is so prevelent and HUMBLY accept the word planted in you, which can save you. Do not merely listen to the word and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says.
That's what I desire more than anything, and God in His grace is bringing me to that place. The process has been painstakingly slow at times, but I will press on to know Him. It is the Christian's hope to look upon the face of Christ. For me, I have both longed for that moment and at the same time been overwhelmed with fear of that moment. My life before Christ deserved the fullness of His wrath; my life in Christ deserves the same. To give an account for either terrifies me to no end. Yet, God bids me "come". "Help me Lord, help me."
Enter, God's Word: Romans 8:1-3a - Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life set me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do, God did..."Romans 9:16 - It does not, therefore, depend on man's desire or effort, but on God's mercy.
He chose me in His mercy! He saved me in His mercy! He loved me, and loves me even now in His mercy! I couldn't have done this for myself. And so, I come as I am... broken and weak...dependant on His mercy and grace...trusting only in Christ...humbly longing for the day that I will look upon the fullness of His glory and not have to look away!
Love in the Truth!
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